Tuesday, May 24, 2011

In a Funk

So tonight when I came home from work I went to the grocery store and stocked up on some more veggies for the week.  I get so mad at myself for not sticking to things.  I think about last week and how I did so well Monday - Friday afternoon.  Then I let myself eat carbs this weekend and it's like I allowed the flood gates to open.  You know what I mean?  I'm just frustrated.  I've wanted for so long to be in the 140's and I really thought this time would be different.  I'm by no means giving up, because I still have plenty of time until July 15th and even beyond that I have time.  I really thought the St. Thomas trip would be the final wake-up call to get my butt in gear.  I'm fine with the working out, if I go into the gym with no expectations.  I've found it's the times I tell myself what I have to do turn into me cheating myself.  Urghhhh, just really overwhelmed right now.

It doesn't help that I log onto Facebook and I see that one old friend has lost 20 lbs on the South Beach diet and another has lost 30 lbs on Weight Watchers.  I think I need to call the dietitian offered through the EAP at work.  Maybe that could be what really helps me to realize what it is that I need to do to change my diet to see the scale drop?

I did workout tonight.  I really wanted to run intervals again for an hour, but ended up calling it quits after 20 minutes.  What's up with that?  Then when I came back to my apartment I got on the stationary bike for 30 minutes.  So I can be happy I did something, just not what I was expecting.  See I should be happier and yet I just beat myself up.  No good. 

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